A similar thing hit me in therapy not too long ago-- the longer it has been since an emotional wound occurred, the lower the odds of ever truly repairing it because the person i need the repair from no longer exists. They are frozen in time, back then. They're not who they were back then either-- they have changed over the years too. And/or they may not even remember the incident that caused the wound.
I wrote a piece on forgiveness awhile back-- came at it from a different angle, but similar conclusion. True forgiveness is an act of self-love, not self-harm or self-sacrifice. In case you want to read it: https://www.jolizbish.com/thoughts/the-gift
Another great post. Attachment repair can only happen through our healthy adult reparenting our child parts. Another adult cannot provide unconditional love to another adult, only to a child so searching for it outside ourselves is like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in it. 'Licking the hotspot' - what an awesome metaphor for neural pattern replays! I'm going to borrow that and use it with my clients.
Thank you. I really need to listen this words.
A similar thing hit me in therapy not too long ago-- the longer it has been since an emotional wound occurred, the lower the odds of ever truly repairing it because the person i need the repair from no longer exists. They are frozen in time, back then. They're not who they were back then either-- they have changed over the years too. And/or they may not even remember the incident that caused the wound.
I wrote a piece on forgiveness awhile back-- came at it from a different angle, but similar conclusion. True forgiveness is an act of self-love, not self-harm or self-sacrifice. In case you want to read it: https://www.jolizbish.com/thoughts/the-gift
Another great post. Attachment repair can only happen through our healthy adult reparenting our child parts. Another adult cannot provide unconditional love to another adult, only to a child so searching for it outside ourselves is like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in it. 'Licking the hotspot' - what an awesome metaphor for neural pattern replays! I'm going to borrow that and use it with my clients.
Love this