Wonderful Mollie, firstly thank you for existing, you have helped me more over the last year than you could ever know.
I have a seven year old daughter, who I decided not to send to school because of everything you talk about here. For me a huge part of it is not having safe adults around, at school kids have to fend for themselves to survive. Hierarchies form and kids get cruel. My daughter has the most beautiful, safe friendships ranging from 3-13 years old. Sure they disagree about things but ultimately they do not feel the need to cause hurt because they are safe to just enjoy each other.
You speak of “friendships that are rooted in being the same” I remember that so well, and I see teens all walking round in the same outfits doing the same thing, but again the homeschoolers I know don’t feel the need to do this.
It’s possible to choose differently for our daughters!
I loved reading every word of this! It's come at a significant time in my life where i'm addressing these ancestral dynamics and working on healing these patterns after a crises. Thank you for sharing your words, they have given a lot of meaning and inspiring compassion. Is initiation a ritual recommended we do regularly if the same patterns occur? How can we sustain it?
I Love and can so deeply resonate with so many ideas of the toxic feminine and its hold on womanhood and our relationships. So beautifully expressed. It really broke my heart when discussing the obviously bs (probably hypothetical?) retreat and the ( again hypothetical?) but obviously unpleasant women were mocked based on their fashion choices (hat, lip filler, etc) when that’s not the problem at hand. I know your intentions are good, I just wanted to point it out as it felt contradictory to the whole message of letting women do what they want even esp w our bodies. ❤️
it's not mocking imo. fact of the matter. it is an accurate description of the getup/uniforms. those $$angel number$$ retreats with the influencers with the uniform uniform and uniform script are the trend and everywhere. No different if i said a glaze-eyed greasy haired nike wearing teenage boy slapped down my waffle at 3am waffle house. They be doing it, and they be everywhere.
IMO, being kind or un-kind doesn't apply here. That's a subjective view you are assigning to an otherwise objective descriptor. In and of itself, it is simply a descriptor, a matter of fact. It is what it is.
No one was saying the visual characteristics *in and of themselves* are inherently good/bad.
and it was necessary and relevant, yes.
There is a specific, prevalent subculture of younger women on IG essentially grifting sacred Spirituality.
Visuals are relevant in particular here when this subculture flourishes on Instagram, a visual selfie platform, where "pretty" is what sells.
They strictly conform their own meat suit's appearance to the culture of Instagram's homogenized perception of what is sexually desirable.
Whether that requires her to alter her natural born appearance with injections, and or donning the sexy uniform.
All while simultaneously claiming to be definitely totally enlightened and holding the keys to access your very own Soul.
They charge you $$magic overpriced numbies$$ for a hedonistic luxury vacation with yoga and shrooms, but no one need feel indulgent or selfish because it's all in the name of Spirituality.
IMO the visual descriptor just points to yet another layer of the falsehoods found here.
Contorting, augmenting, straining yourself to fit into a specific mold, for duplicitous aims, aesthetically or personality-wise, does not coincide with the Spiritual Prophet vibe of "i transcended the depths of Hell, and have returned to bring the light of consciousness to as many beings as possible."
It's all relevant to the shiny pretty sexy marketed shallow spiritually scheme. It's a trend. It's very easy. They make cash. They have fun. They're 'hot'.
They themselves are uninitiated, selling you initiation.
Anyways, I just wanted to say I don't believe Mollie had any malice in her words/intent at all. She herself even has podcast eps about lip filler/visually conforming type things, and her own journey with it.
katie really nailed it, but i’ll just add some context in case this is the first time someone’s coming across my work.
i’ve had breast implants. i’ve filled my face. i’ve had it dissolved. i’ve done the whole cycle, and i talk about it at length on the podcast. this is not about shaming women for how they look or what they choose to do. i still have friends who get filler and look amazing. there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, and i’ve said as much, repeatedly. there are absolutely healthy and beautiful ways to navigate all of it.
what i’m pointing to in this piece isn’t individual choices. it’s the spiritual aesthetic-industrial complex that’s emerged online where healing is sold in packages, and spirituality gets dressed up in the same filter/captions/face. when i say “lip filler spiritual baddies,” that’s not an insult to anyone who’s gotten filler. it’s shorthand for a cultural type/an archetype. and it’s recognizable to all of us at this point.
it’s a look, tone and marketing style that’s gotten v predictable. and it matters, because people looking for healing are getting sold a performance. if you know my work, you know i don’t speak from a pedestal bc i’ve been there. and i’ve had to unlearn a lot. this is just me naming what i see, from experience.
This entire piece is so empowering and magical, “I don’t need to own you to love you.
I don’t need to understand your path to respect your becoming.
I won’t chain you to my comfort and call it friendship.”
WOW
so relevant and needed🫶
"True initiation is ritual death." SO true. Do you think friendship encourages exploring our edges and frameworks withholding judgement.
Beautiful writing.
This makes a great deal of sense and gives me hope for the younger generations of girls and women.
Well written, necessary, deep and powerful.
This old broad enjoyed it.
Keep up the great work, 143 ❤️♾️
I love your writing. It makes me feel seen like nothing else. Xoxo, recovering toxic maiden
Loved this piece so much Molly. I wasn’t familiar with The Maiden and Mother archetypes, fascinating.
Wonderful Mollie, firstly thank you for existing, you have helped me more over the last year than you could ever know.
I have a seven year old daughter, who I decided not to send to school because of everything you talk about here. For me a huge part of it is not having safe adults around, at school kids have to fend for themselves to survive. Hierarchies form and kids get cruel. My daughter has the most beautiful, safe friendships ranging from 3-13 years old. Sure they disagree about things but ultimately they do not feel the need to cause hurt because they are safe to just enjoy each other.
You speak of “friendships that are rooted in being the same” I remember that so well, and I see teens all walking round in the same outfits doing the same thing, but again the homeschoolers I know don’t feel the need to do this.
It’s possible to choose differently for our daughters!
Thank you so much for this beautiful comment, Jessica. It's got me tearing up over here. ❤️
I guess this makes you realize how much this can damage ourselves as individuals, and then collectively as women, and then in effect, all of humanity.
if women unite, will girl power finally be unlocked, and we can save the world? 🌷🌼🌻💐🌞🌎💜 yes!
mean girls is boring, and we all die that way.
Girl, you're just creating banger after banger these days 🫶🏼 I appreciate you and your words so much!
i’ve been feeling this way for years but felt i couldn’t describe or didn’t have the language to know what was wrong. thank you mollie 💗
This was so needed and came to me at the right time to read when i am looking for true sistershood
I loved reading every word of this! It's come at a significant time in my life where i'm addressing these ancestral dynamics and working on healing these patterns after a crises. Thank you for sharing your words, they have given a lot of meaning and inspiring compassion. Is initiation a ritual recommended we do regularly if the same patterns occur? How can we sustain it?
Thank you
This entire piece. Gosh, so many thoughts and feelings all at once! Beautiful, feral and sad all in one breath.
I Love and can so deeply resonate with so many ideas of the toxic feminine and its hold on womanhood and our relationships. So beautifully expressed. It really broke my heart when discussing the obviously bs (probably hypothetical?) retreat and the ( again hypothetical?) but obviously unpleasant women were mocked based on their fashion choices (hat, lip filler, etc) when that’s not the problem at hand. I know your intentions are good, I just wanted to point it out as it felt contradictory to the whole message of letting women do what they want even esp w our bodies. ❤️
it's not mocking imo. fact of the matter. it is an accurate description of the getup/uniforms. those $$angel number$$ retreats with the influencers with the uniform uniform and uniform script are the trend and everywhere. No different if i said a glaze-eyed greasy haired nike wearing teenage boy slapped down my waffle at 3am waffle house. They be doing it, and they be everywhere.
I hear you. I personally don’t always believe that everything that is honest and true is also kind and necessary.
IMO, being kind or un-kind doesn't apply here. That's a subjective view you are assigning to an otherwise objective descriptor. In and of itself, it is simply a descriptor, a matter of fact. It is what it is.
No one was saying the visual characteristics *in and of themselves* are inherently good/bad.
and it was necessary and relevant, yes.
There is a specific, prevalent subculture of younger women on IG essentially grifting sacred Spirituality.
Visuals are relevant in particular here when this subculture flourishes on Instagram, a visual selfie platform, where "pretty" is what sells.
They strictly conform their own meat suit's appearance to the culture of Instagram's homogenized perception of what is sexually desirable.
Whether that requires her to alter her natural born appearance with injections, and or donning the sexy uniform.
All while simultaneously claiming to be definitely totally enlightened and holding the keys to access your very own Soul.
They charge you $$magic overpriced numbies$$ for a hedonistic luxury vacation with yoga and shrooms, but no one need feel indulgent or selfish because it's all in the name of Spirituality.
IMO the visual descriptor just points to yet another layer of the falsehoods found here.
Contorting, augmenting, straining yourself to fit into a specific mold, for duplicitous aims, aesthetically or personality-wise, does not coincide with the Spiritual Prophet vibe of "i transcended the depths of Hell, and have returned to bring the light of consciousness to as many beings as possible."
It's all relevant to the shiny pretty sexy marketed shallow spiritually scheme. It's a trend. It's very easy. They make cash. They have fun. They're 'hot'.
They themselves are uninitiated, selling you initiation.
Anyways, I just wanted to say I don't believe Mollie had any malice in her words/intent at all. She herself even has podcast eps about lip filler/visually conforming type things, and her own journey with it.
katie really nailed it, but i’ll just add some context in case this is the first time someone’s coming across my work.
i’ve had breast implants. i’ve filled my face. i’ve had it dissolved. i’ve done the whole cycle, and i talk about it at length on the podcast. this is not about shaming women for how they look or what they choose to do. i still have friends who get filler and look amazing. there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, and i’ve said as much, repeatedly. there are absolutely healthy and beautiful ways to navigate all of it.
what i’m pointing to in this piece isn’t individual choices. it’s the spiritual aesthetic-industrial complex that’s emerged online where healing is sold in packages, and spirituality gets dressed up in the same filter/captions/face. when i say “lip filler spiritual baddies,” that’s not an insult to anyone who’s gotten filler. it’s shorthand for a cultural type/an archetype. and it’s recognizable to all of us at this point.
it’s a look, tone and marketing style that’s gotten v predictable. and it matters, because people looking for healing are getting sold a performance. if you know my work, you know i don’t speak from a pedestal bc i’ve been there. and i’ve had to unlearn a lot. this is just me naming what i see, from experience.