Much to the annoyance of the adults in my life, I was the kind of child who questioned everything.
What happens after we die?
Where was this thing that is supposedly “me” before I was born?
Why was I being told to follow the rules and life trajectories of “grown-ups” who seemed to hate themselves and their lives?
Unsurprisingly, my big questions about reality seemed to scare the hell out of the adults around me. I was mainly told,
“Just didn’t need to think about those things.”
I felt rejected and abandoned and like something must have been deeply wrong with me. Regardless, I was paralyzed with fear each night with existential dread and a lack of answers.
These thoughts filled me with profound and painful anxiety.
Was my purpose on this planet really just to grow up, go to college, get married, have kids, and land a job (which I'd likely despise), only to obey yet another self-hating authority figure? All while yearning for the scant two weeks of vacation allotted each year until I'm eventually carted off to a nursing home.
What was the point of all this?
I was so acutely aware of the depressing nature of “reality” from such a young age that it wasn’t long before I began “acting out.” Suffice to say, I was not an “easy” child.
Even the spiritual outlets available to me in my small town in middle America reeked of hypocrisy, so there was no escape or answers for me there either. I was too young to understand or pinpoint what exactly was wrong, but something tasted… off about fundamentalist Christian spaces.
Robotic
All around me, I saw people who had reduced themselves to machines in order to keep themselves psychologically safe. But at what cost?
Does mental security even exist, or is it all just an elaborate illusion?
As humans, we tend to chase a sense of permanency and stability; a well-founded, deep-rooted existence from a psychological perspective. Maybe, just maybe, the pursuit of these elusive and unachievable states is exactly what’s keeping us collectively imprisoned.
We seek comfort in our beliefs and routines, exposing all of this as an illusionary pursuit that—paradoxically—leads to deep instability, disorder, and dysfunction.
It’s time we reevaluate what true mental security actually means.
When we live our lives like robots, driven by habits and unexamined beliefs that have been spoon-fed to us through media and popular culture, we trick ourselves into believing we’ve achieved security and order.
Society praises 'neurotypical' individuals—those who have adapted well to the status quo. However, those who dare to challenge it are often labeled, at best, as ‘eccentric’, and at worst, as 'disordered' or 'crazy.'
This socially-acceptable-yet-mechanical way of living results in a life lived in the shadows of the past and future. A life defined by a sick and dysfunctional collective, disconnected from the vitality of the now, and entirely devoid of myth and meaning.
We are conditioned from childhood to adhere to societal norms, trapped in a cycle of repetitive actions and thoughts. This programming not only stifles our creativity and spontaneity, but it also blinds us to the reality of our situation, perpetuating a state of unconscious living.
And we wonder why the Zombie archetype is so popular in the current cultural milieu.
“Wouldn’t that be a horrible reality?” We think to ourselves, our fingers greasy with popcorn, as we watch these dead-eyed, soulless beasts roaming the land aimlessly looking for their next meal from the comfort of our couches.
The irony.
True Order vs. Mechanical Order
Jiddu Krishnamurti, an influential spiritual leader and philosopher of the 20th century, was renowned for his profound insights into the human condition and his rejection of the traditional guru-disciple relationship.
Born in India in 1895, he was initially groomed to be a spiritual leader by the Theosophical Society but later (controversially) disavowed this role to pursue an independent path.
Krishnamurti's teachings emphasized the importance of personal insight and understanding over adherence to rigid belief systems.
He was a prominent figure in spirituality due to his unique approach to understanding the mind and consciousness, which did not align with any particular religion or philosophy.
In short, he was a fellow questioner. He refused to buy into the bullshit.
Krishnamurti saw clearly the problem with the superficial order of mechanical living most people on earth were stuck in.
His teachings suggest that true order and security are achieved not through repetitive, predictable patterns, but through a profound understanding of the nature of thought and consciousness.
If we want to feel secure, we have to throw “conventional” wisdom in the metaphorical trash and seek safety in the realm of awareness and understanding, rather than in the predictable and the known.
The potential for radical change—and an escape button out of a zombified existence—is available to us through a new perception of time and existence.
What You See Is What You Get
Materialism, the philosophical stance that everything in existence (all that we can see and touch) is made of matter and that all phenomena are the result of material interactions.
We live in a world predominantly guided by this materialist philosophy, where the ultimate reality is confined solely to the tangible and visible. The roots of materialism can be traced back to ancient Greek philosophers like Democritus and Epicurus.
Isaac Newton, renowned for his laws of motion and universal gravitation, significantly contributed to the scientific revolution and the advancement of this more mechanical worldview. His work provided a mathematical description of the physical universe, reinforcing the idea that the universe operates according to physical laws and principles, the foundation upon which materialism is built.
However, materialism as a philosophical viewpoint encompasses more than just the physical laws of nature. It includes the belief that consciousness and thought are also the result of material processes.
The problem is, consciousness is not only about the brain's physical functioning; it's also about our subjective experiences, emotions, and awareness, which are challenging to quantify or explain purely in terms of brain chemistry and neural activity.
It’s the same reason I have a major issue with the bio-medical model of mental health, that tries to convince us that we have “disordered” personalities, or that “mental illness” can be explained away by mythical chemical imbalances in our brains.
Thankfully, some big names in academia are stepping in to challenge things.
Professor Donald Hoffman, a cognitive psychologist from the University of California, Irvine, has offered a groundbreaking perspective that challenges the bedrock of Newtonian physics and materialism.
Just like Krishnamurti, Hoffman has spent his career peeling back the layers of our mechanical engagement with the world around us, hinting at a reality that transcends our ordinary perception.
And just like any great teacher, Hoffman uses storytelling and metaphor to help us understand his theories.
The Metaphor of the Word Document
Imagine that you’re sitting down to finish up an essay for a school assignment that you’ve been putting off. You begrudgingly open up your laptop.
Sigh.
You scan your desktop for the Microsoft Word document with your half-finished essay. The icon for the Word file is simple - it’s just a little blue and white square on your laptop screen.
And yet, this icon is neither blue and white, nor square. The actual file for your essay is a complicated amalgamation of computer code far beyond your direct perception.
Just like the icon, the material world we interact with is a simplified interface, behind which hides a reality far more intricate and dynamic than we could possibly fathom.
The Virtual Reality Headset Analogy
In another metaphor, Hoffman compares our limited perception of material reality to playing a virtual reality game, like Grand Theft Auto.
What you see and interact with while playing - the roads, cars, and controls - don’t actually exist; they are merely representations in a headset that allows you to better navigate and complete the game.
According to Hoffman, our perception of reality is similar; it’s nothing more than a user-friendly interface that simplifies the complexities of the universe into something we can manage and understand.
Challenging Conventional Materialism
Hoffman’s theories challenge us to question the materialist view of reality we’ve been told to swallow since we were young children.
They propose that the tangible world around us, much like a desktop icon or VR game, is merely a functional façade. A sensory interface that allows us to interact with a deeper, more complex reality.
This viewpoint implies that the physical world we are so accustomed to is not the exhaustive totality of existence, but a perceptual construct designed solely for survival and interaction.
Spiritual teachers like Krishnamurti (as well as mystics and indigenous cultures that preceded him by thousands of years) have spoken about the illusory nature of reality for millennia.
[Some examples of this: the Indian philosphy of “maya,” the Buddist concept of “samsara,” the Taoist parable of the butterfly, Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, the concept of “dreamtime” in ancient Australian Aboriginal cultures, and the "Wakan Tanka," (the Great Mystery) of the Lakota Sioux people. These are just a few of many.]
In recent years, we’re now seeing these same perspective echoed in modern physics, particularly in the realms of quantum mechanics, where particles are believed to exist in states of probability rather than definitive locations and conditions.
Cognitive science also supports this view, showing how our perceptions are not mere reflections of the external world but intricate constructions of the brain.
Breaking Free
The journey beyond materialism to a deeper understanding of reality is not just a philosophical endeavor but a scientific and existential necessity.
By embracing perspectives like those of Krishnamurti and Hoffman, we open ourselves to a universe far richer and more mysterious than the one dictated by our senses.
This new view invites us to remain inquisitive, open-minded, and ready to explore the true nature of reality, urging us to connect with the world and existence in a more profound and meaningful way.
Krishnamurti theorized that when the past meets the present and stops there, an incredible transformation occurs.
From the courage to simply be in the now, we can experience a fresh and unconditioned state of being.
We move from mechanical to dynamic.
From known to unknown.
From the confined to the limitless potential of human consciousness.
Quotes for Additional Musing
In my reading this week, I came across a few quotes from some of my favorite authors and thinkers that continue on this same thread of thinking. I encourage you to contemplate them deeply and/or explore them with some free-writing if you feel inspired to do so.
“The Swiss psychologist C.G. Jung observed that the unconscious dimension of our psyche will show to us the same face that we first show to it. If we have been hostile to it, it will be hostile to us. So much of our psychological life is a dialogue between our conscious world - all the things we know about ourselves - and the unconscious - the murky world of our interior life, which is such a mystery to us.”
“The splintered personality is not content. The contentment it feels in one moment is replaced by anger or fear or envy in the next moment as conflicting aspects of itself struggle with each other. If your struggle with the conflicting parts of yourself is conscious, you are able to choose consciously the response that will create the karma that you desire. You will be able to bring to bear upon your decision an awareness of what lies behind each choice, and the consequences of each choice, and choose accordingly. When you enter into your decision-making dynamic consciously, you insert your will consciously into the creative cycle through which your soul evolves, and you enter consciously into your own evolution.”
“We are dominated by everything with which our self becomes identified. We can dominate, direct, and utilize everything from which we dis-identify ourselves. This identification with a part of ourselves is usually related to the predominant function or focus of our awareness, to the predominant role we play in life… This identification with only a part of our personality may be temporarily satisfactory, but it has serious drawbacks. It prevents us from realizing the experience of the “I",” the deep sense of identification, of knowing who we are. It excludes, or greatly decreases, the ability to identify with all the other parts of our personality, to enjoy them and utilize them to their full extent… we gain the freedom and the power of choice to be identified with, or dis-identified from, any aspect of our personality, according to what seems to us most appropriate in each situation. Thus, we can learn to master, direct, and utilize all the elements and aspects of our personality.”
For Your Eyes and Ears
If you’re stillI’ve included a few additional resources that will allow you to explore these concepts further. Fall down the rabbit hole.
If you’re reading this, you're a valued paid subscriber. Last month, I pressed pause to breathe during the holidays. It was a time when the whirlwind of content creation became a bit much, and stepping back was necessary. Your understanding means a lot, and I'm thankful you stuck with me during that hiatus.
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<3 Mollie
I remember listening to a talk by one of the swamis who followed Amma Amirtanandamayi, commonly called "the hugging saint," and he said, "If you win the rat race, you're still a rat."